“Marriage humbles women” is a statement I can contest from now till forever. I don’t understand how marriage humbles women, it doesn’t even humble men. Marriage doesn’t humble anyone as far as I’m concerned, you’ll be humble if you were before marriage. Marriage will even allow you display attitudes that were laying low before it, hence, it brings out the real “you”. The statement that inspired this write up was that, someone said women shouldn’t acquire material things before marriage because if they do, they won’t be humble and I’m like, where is this coming from?
Some people believe that It’s not right for a woman to buy a house, have the luxury of life or acquire wealth before marriage, because if she has the means, it won’t make her humble in the marriage? Humility and submission are two different concepts and shouldn’t be mixed up.
A woman should be submissive after marriage but it doesn’t mean she will, because she was who she was before she got married. A woman who’s used to making her own decisions, doing whatever she feels whenever she feels like it, an independent woman, might find it hard to be submissive because it takes one who’s willing to compromise to be submissive and that can be worked on as soon as she realizes decisions have to be made “together”. Humility on the other hand has little or nothing to do with what someone acquires. A poor person would be proud if it’s in his or her nature and even if he or she tries to fake it, it still won’t take long before the person comes back to his or her normal behavior.
Again, it’s easier to achieve all you want to when you’re single or let me say unmarried because like that joke said, you won’t even be able to change the TV station and it’s just the truth, you have to compromise on everything. He wants CNN, she wants Mnet, he wants football, she wants a movie, on the same TV, what do they do? Compromise. Being single gives you the freedom to make such choices, you can decide to do your Masters, Ph.D. etc before marriage but when you’re married, you and your spouse would have to decide if that’s the right thing to do. So why not achieve as much as you can before marriage? So what if you’re a woman? When has that ever stopped us from doing great things? When did we ever allow ourselves be limited by gender?
I understand that some guys get intimidated by ladies who have achieved a lot but that only means that some men secretly do not want “made” women just so they can get some credit for the kind of life they made her live but it’s wrong!
A woman can achieve as much as a man can and still be humble and submissive, it’s all about her attitude. It’s not a lie that the test of a man(or woman)’s attitude is when (s)he’s wealthy. This is because on our way to achieving our goals in life, a lot of us display the right attitude we know would fasten the process of getting what we want. On getting the desired results, we come back to “us”, who we really were before we wore the conditional attitude. That’s how it is for everyone, if you’re not a humble person, nothing can change it except if you choose to. Even marriage won’t do such magic.
- Never compromise on your career in the name of marriage. If your future husband or his family can’t take you otherwise then I feel they don’t deserve you at the first place.
- Being a mother and raising a family is an important decision and a mutual one, of course. Take it wisely.
- Look for a partner who can understand your needs and goals in life and never ever asks you to compromise your life goals for the family.
- There’s no right age for marriage. Marry only when you feel so and have found the right partner.
- Marriage doesn’t mean the end of your personal life. Chill out, enjoy with your friends sometimes even after marriage.
- Support your spouse if she wants to pursue her career goals. Act as a friend to her rather a husband and see how beautiful life becomes.
- Becoming a father right after marriage isn’t a task that needs to be achieved. So, take your time and enjoy the life together. Be ready for that big step and think thoroughly before making the right decision.
- Look for a partner who is clear with her life goals. If you have expectations of any sort from her then make it clear with her right before marriage rather than blurting it out after marriage.
- Similarly as for women, there’s no right age for marriage for men too. Take your time, find the right partner for your life and then tie the knot.
- Don’t let marriage be a burden on your personal life instead make it your strength to enjoy life to the fullest.
My point? There’s nothing stopping any woman from achieving as much as she can before marriage because if she doesn’t have the right attitude before marriage, she would most likely not have it after marriage. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a “made” woman, it only means she can handle hers and most likely have the resources to be there for her man materially if need be.