No one is perfect and even the title of the article even suggests that the smartest of couples are capable of making the silliest mistakes and that’s why we’re here – we got you covered. The following are some of the mistakes you and your spouse should consciously avoid making;
Splitting the housework 50/50. This is often considered the “fairest” way to split the chores, whether it’s washing the dishes or walking the dog. But aiming for 50/50 means you’re constantly keeping score, making sure that neither of you is getting the short end of the stick, and bickering every time you think you are. Spend too much time fixating on fairness today, and you risk not making it to the long run when things often balance out.
Assuming a rough patch is the end of the world. Relationships go in cycles. There are ups (booms) and downs (busts), just like in the economy. They’re not only inevitable, but they’re actually healthy. They force you to see where you’ve let things slide, taken each other for granted or just lost sight of what’s important. Embrace the rough patches and think up a novel solution to an issue that keeps dividing you.
Staying up to resolve an argument, even if it takes all night. Bad idea! At a certain point—and we’ve all been there—we just want to be right, whatever it costs. And because someone at our bridal shower advised us to never go to bed angry, we beat up ourselves and our spouses into the wee hours in the name of “resolution.” But the more we try to resolve (aka, win), the later it gets and the more exhausted and resentful we become. So yes, go to bed angry sometimes. Get some rest and sleep on it. Reconvene the anger summit in the morning when you’re both more open-minded and less riled up. Recognizing how much we hate to lose, we need to take actions to minimize the damage we do attempting to win at all costs.
Trying to mind-read—or expecting your partner to do so. This one should be obvious, and yet again, we all assume our spouse knows we need a hug (or a cocktail) after a bad day at the office or figure that he’ll wash the car on his way past the car wash because it’s so obviously dirty. Give your spouse the information he or she needs, rather than expecting him or her to know the unknowable. Information is the grease that keeps your little economy functioning.