Friends with benefits also known as fwb is a kind of relationship many people go into in this 21st century, people go into it as a result of sexual feelings they want to act upon without being in the real deal (the boyfriend/girlfriend kind). In a lot of cases, both parties might most likely have relationships with others but still want their ‘fwb’ partner, no strings attached. Its been originally designed to be a relationship where both parties benefit equally, for instance, the guy gets sex while the girl gets money/connection or the other way around. These days though, both parties most likely wants the same thing – sex which makes the deal even easier. The deal is one that allows both parties to have other sexual partners without anyone getting jealous or feeling cheated. That’s the greatest lie anyone can tell themselves in a friends with benefits relationship. That’s the purpose of this piece – to tell you the truth.
When going into a business partnership, the terms and conditions are spelt out in a way both partners understand clearly, they can agree to the partnership if the terms and conditions favor them or if it’s something they can deal with, otherwise they won’t. In the case of fwb, the terms and conditions should be spelt out and should only be agreed to if both partners can deal with what it entails. That’s the first challenge most fwb relationships face – no terms and conditions. They’re just so filled with lust that they can’t even look before they leap. You should always talk it out before you get into it because if you don’t, talking later would be too late since you both would have done a lot together already. A lot of people are in fwb relationships, they just don’t realise it yet. Some people don’t even know they’re in fwb relationships because they’ve mistaken likeness for love or because the partner is fond of them, it means “something”. Always be sure that person is obviously single not by assuming but by observation and asking questions because you don’t want the main chick or the main “nigga” coming to take back their “possession” after you already thought you own them. One should clearly define all forms all relationships they want to go into before they go into it, no one wants to waste their time, energy, resources and emotions with anyone who was never on the same page with them.
We always tell ourselves that it’s just going to be sex, nothing more but then you see yourself getting jealous when he or she receives a call that seems romantic or when he or she has to spend time with other people asides you. If you’re an emotional person, you shouldn’t be in this kind of relationship. Its for people who have “gangsta” emotions. People who can overlook things and never speak about them. Whether you admit it or not, sex is a bigdeal and can bring about unplanned emotional feelings. So you are in a fwb relationship and after a short while, you’re “in love” because of the strong emotions tied to sex and other sexually related activities. Fwb partners should know that fwb is just what it is – friends with benefits. No future, no talking too much, it’s just business. Its not a relationship where you and your partner can have “the talk” every now and then because it’s not that deep. You should also be un-bothered about the people they spend time with when you’re not with them, they’re not obliged to tell you about the “other things” they’re doing. You should try not to complain about things you can’t deal because that’s probably why they have you even though they have other partners, it might make them want to end it if the difference between you and their partners isn’t much.
Going into a fwb relationship as a single person isn’t what I would advise someone to do especially when the partner you’re going into it with isn’t single, you’re going to be doing yourself a lot of bad. Not having other (or another) sexual partner(s) in a fwb relationship means you would be putting your all into the relationship and you shouldn’t be doing that in a relationship that clearly has no future. Another mistake people in fwb relationships make is thinking that the relationship would ever get “serious”. Honey, if it didn’t start on a serious note, it would most likely never get to a serious level. The fact that he or she had a serious partner and the relationship ended doesn’t mean you would be their next option for something serious. It doesn’t work that way, if it was meant to be a serious relationship, it would have been. The probability that your fwb relationship would ever get serious is like half over one thousand. Before his or her “main” relationship ended, they probably already have someone they’re considering to be “serious relationship material” so instead of getting your hopes up, get yourself something serious too.
If you can deal with all that I’ve mentioned or you think you have the qualities that a fwb partner needs, then you’re good, otherwise, it’s not for you. Let’s bring out the points together;
1) State your terms and conditions (define the relationship).
2) Don’t be emotional, don’t catch feelings #teamgangstaemotions.
3) Don’t always say how you feel (you don’t need to have “the talk”).
4) You don’t need to know what they’re doing when you’re not with them.
5) Your fwb partner shouldn’t be your only partner.
6) Don’t think it would ever get serious, if it was meant to be, it should have been.