Being single might be pretty amazing especially knowing that you don’t have to consider anyone’s reaction when making personal decisions or seek another person’s opinion because that’s just what is expected of anyone in a relationship. But then, if you find it difficult to get out of the single-ness when you’re ready, one or more of the following reasons might be behind it;
You Play Hard to Get. Do you pretend to be busy when asked out? Pretend not to care when you really do? Playing hard to get makes it hard to find Mr./Ms. Right. In fact, it’s likely to attract just the sort of person who will make you unhappy: someone who doesn’t feel comfortable being close.
You’re Fixated on Your Ex. Idealizing an old mate makes it hard to find a new one. This is a particular problem for some people: Uncomfortable with intimacy, they push their partner away. But once the relationship ends, their love resurfaces and they convince themselves that the failed relationship had been terrific. Then they compare every new person they meet to their idealized ex. Who can live up to that ideal?
You’re Stuck on “the One”. Maybe you have an ideal mate or relationship in mind and are determined to find that and only that. If so, it might take a very long time. Getting stuck on “the one” is something some people often do in order to keep true intimacy at bay. Instead of waiting for “the one,” change your mind-set, choose someone, allow him/her to get close, and make him/her special to you.
You’re a Drama Junkie. Are you “addicted” to the highs and lows of unstable relationships? Lots of people are. They’re drawn to emotionally unavailable people who make them work hard for every morsel of affection, while dismissing as boring those who are genuine and forthcoming. Eventually, this leads one to equate anxiety with love. That’s not sustainable. Even worse, you let secure, loving people pass you by.
You Believe in “E-Romance”. Online romances just aren’t the real deal. They may meet some of your attachment needs, but not in a real way. Even if you “graduate” from email to voice, that’s not good enough. Meet new prospects ASAP, and stick to the old-fashioned kind of attachment.
You Fear Becoming Dependent. Some people avoid committed relationships because they worry they’ll become dependent on their mate. They think people must retain their independence at all costs. This kind of relationship simply doesn’t exist. We’re all hard-wired to become dependent. The trick is to find the right person to depend on.”
You Think You Should Wait. Some people think they simply aren’t worthy until they lose weight, amass a certain amount of money, etc. But there’s no point in waiting. You can find that special someone and improve while you’re with them.
You Think Good Mates Are Scarce. Date infrequently and you’ll inevitably invest a huge amount of emotional energy into each new prospect. You have to do it more frequently to increase the pool from which you’ll have to make your choice.